A Fowl Game
by Dark Paladin2
Summary: Harry, Ron, and Hermione are trapped in a lodge when a mysterious visitor decends upon them...


Hey People! Well, I was just reading yesterday I came up with this. This is my first Harry Potter fic. And my 1st crossover so please enjoy. And this is also my first fic. So, if this screws up, try to role with it, ok?  
  
NOTE: Artemis Fowl is by Eoin Colfer. Artemis is a criminal mastermind, a millionaire, as well as a genius. He has a bodyguard named Butler and they're always up to some form of lawbreaking... They are great books and please go to your local bookstore and read get a copy of the book: Artemis Fowl  
  
Disclaimer: I, Dark Paladin, do not own Harry Potter or Artemis Fowl.  
  
But anyway on with the story.....  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione felt trapped. They were at a lake house and they'd run out of things to do. Why were they at a lake house? Well, cause that's were the story takes place. But anyway, just when things seemed there bleakest, suddenly and with no warning onesoever Artemis Fowl appeared out of nowhere with his bodyguard Butler.  
  
Artemis: (smug smile) So this is what you do on your day off...  
  
Butler gave an odd smile.  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione: (gasp) Artemis Fowl!  
  
Hermione: How did you get here?  
  
Harry: Why are you here?  
  
Ron: Seen any good movies lately? (I probably would have said that if I'd been there...)  
  
All but Ron: (look at Ron like he's insane)  
  
Artemis: (smiling again) How did I get here? Well, you see...Dark Paladin has these Author Powers...  
  
All but Artemis and Butler (and for future reference Butler will only talk when I specifically say so): Author Powers?  
  
Artemis: Dark Paladin? Demonstrate.  
  
Dark Paladin: (snaps fingers)  
  
Suddenly Dobby appears riding Fluffy like a horse (and let me say, my friend Terry and I think Fluffy is the coolest).  
  
Dobby: Mush!  
  
Dark Paladin: (snaps fingers again)  
  
Draco Malfoy then appeared next to them wearing a ballerina suit and dancing Swan Lake.  
  
All (including Butler): WE'VE SEEN ENOUGH!  
  
Dark Paladin: (snaps fingers)  
  
Both images disappeared.  
  
Harry: So why are you here?  
  
Artemis: Dark Paladin has me sent here with his (shiver) Author Powers!  
  
Ron: No, really, have you seen any good movies lately?  
  
Harry and Hermione: (collapse)  
  
Artemis: Well, I was going to go see 2 Fast 2 Furious but they were sold out...  
  
Harry and Hermione: (get up and collapse again)  
  
Artemis: But while I'm here I'm going to challenge Hermione to a test of knowledge!  
  
Hermione: (laughs)  
  
Artemis: Is that supposed to mean something?  
  
Hermione: (laughs harder)  
  
Artemis: Are you insulting me?  
  
Hermione: (about to bust a gut by laughing so hard)  
  
Artemis: Does this mean you except my challenge?  
  
Hermione: (stops laughing enough to say) Oh, yeah like it will be a challenge (starts laughing uncontrollably again)  
  
Artemis: Fine then, we will up the stakes. We will take turns answering questions and for every question one of us gets wrong we'll take of an article of clothing!  
  
Hermione: (stops laughing looks at him and bursts out laughing again, tears of mirth streaming down her face)  
  
Artemis: (growing irritated) Do you except? Hermione: (after 10 minutes of trying to control herself) Ok, but you don't know what you've got yourself into. (starts giggling)  
  
However 10 minutes later, as she stood in the middle of the room wearing nothing but a pink fluffy towel and a look of humiliation, giggling was the last thing on Hermione's mind. She simply looked down at her heart-pattern thong and bra and the rest of her clothes as her face burned the deepest red. Artemis had yet to get a question wrong and she'd gotten all of hers wrong. She tried not to notice Ron and Harry who were drooling as they looked at her.  
  
Artemis: (chuckling) What's wrong, Hermione? Don't see the humor in this situation?  
  
Hermione: (face burns red)  
  
Artemis: I mean, after all that laughing I figured I'd at least loose my coat, but I guess you're just not in my league, with lingerie like that I'm not surprised.  
  
Hermione: (you could have cook an egg on her face)  
  
Artemis: Well what can I say Hermione; I guess I'm just a pinch ahead of you (winks at Harry and Ron)  
  
At this point Hermione spun around placing a hand on her butt as she'd felt someone pinch it. When she turned both Ron and Harry were smirking.  
  
She spun back to face Artemis almost crying in frustration.  
  
Artemis: (laughing uncontrollably) Come on, isn't this funny, Hermione?  
  
Finally Hermione lost control.  
  
Hermione: That's it! Take this!  
  
She then grabbed her wand pointed it at Artemis and said:  
  
Hermione: Entisivolt! (made that up)  
  
As the spell reached Artemis he simply smiled and said:  
  
Artemis: I don't think so.  
  
And then when the spell hit him he simply glowed slightly and then the spell was reflected back at Hermione.  
  
Hermione: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
The next moment the towel Hermione had been wearing and her wand fell to the ground: she had vanished!  
  
Immediately Harry and Ron jumped to their feet.  
  
Harry and Ron: Where is she!  
  
Artemis simply pointed out the window and they all looked out in time to see a naked girl appear at a height of 15-feet and fall into the middle of the pond.(don't worry girls, she was too far away for them to see anything.)  
  
Harry: But how did you...?  
  
Artemis: Before I left home I sprayed myself with anti-magic, which would reflect any spell towards its originator. And that is the result.  
  
Ron and Harry: Oh...  
  
Artemis: Tell your friend to go laughing at people who are smarter than she. She wasn't even that much of a challenge...cute butt though...  
  
Harry: Ok...  
  
Ron: (nods)  
  
Artemis: But we must go; companies to corrupt and all...Dark Paladin?  
  
Dark Paladin: (snaps fingers)  
  
Artemis and Butler disappear.  
  
Harry and Ron: (look out window and see Hermione starting to swim to shore)  
  
Harry: Well, want to go taunt Hermione?  
  
Ron: Sure, but we'll need these (picks up Hermione's clothes)  
  
By the time they got out to the shore of the lake Hermione had swum in most of the way and when she saw them with her clothes she looked relieved.  
  
Hermione: (trying to cover up, only too aware of how transparent the water is) uh... thanks you guys...could you put my clothes down over there and...like, leave?  
  
Harry: (smirk) no (sitting down on the bank) we'll just wait here.  
  
Ron: (sitting down) nice thong  
  
Hermione: (face red)  
  
Harry and Ron: (burst out laughing)  
  
Dark Paladin: Well that's it, my 1st story. It's probably a one-shot. Sorry Hermione fans. I like Hermione it's just well...I'm a guy, what can I say? Well, please review. Sorry but all of my stories won't be so demented. I just came up with this last night and couldn't resist...  
  
Hermione: Uh... Dark Paladin could you get me my clothes or get me out of here or a bathing suit at least?  
  
Dark Paladin: (snaps fingers)  
  
Suddenly Hermione was wearing a hot pink bikini.  
  
Hermione: (starts swimming around)  
  
Dark Paladin: (in an omni sent voice) But don't get too attached to it. It'll turn into a hula skirt and coco-nut bra later...  
  
Hermione: Huh?  
  
Dark Paladin: I feel like going Hawaiian... 


End file.
